Words fail to express the joy that wells within me when the Holy Spirit comes down and renews my soul.

Of late I have not only been lax in reading my Bible, I have been downright negligent.  Finally, this afternoon, just now actually, I opened up to the next chapter in Hebrews, 12.

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

I think I just sat back and smiled when I read that.  I have been wrestling with my obstinancy in not giving up things I should in order to pursue God as I should, and here the author of Hebrews puts it so simply.  Lay it aside.  That’s all I have to do.  Christ endured the cross for my sake.  Who am I to selfishly say I deserve to do anything (much less waste the time I have been given).

Not that I’m advocating times of stagnation, but God seems to speak so loudly when I finally do come back around.  And may His name be praised.

This has been an interesting week.

On the one hand, I’ve had to do some of the hardest, most time-consuming web-programming I’ve ever done. I spent hours in the computer labs (and will do so this weekend, working on my final project) working on the tiniest elements of a page. Really intense and really frustrating sometimes. I’m so glad it’s the weekend because I don’t feel as guilty hanging out in my room a little bit lol.

On the other hand, the other class I’m taking right now is ice skating. Pretty much the sweetest class ever and when I’m on campus for Jan term ‘09 I want to take it again so I can continue to get better and play more hockey . I’ve learned so much in the last three weeks…front and back crossovers, spins (which I’m not great at lol), trying to learn a waltz jump. Plus…this week has been the US National Figure Skating Championships (which I wouldn’t know except the competition is being held in Spokane this year). On Monday some of the novice/junior pairs were practicing on the other rink. Wednesday we got to see Kimmie Meissner (current World Champion…) practicing. There were some other skaters there that day (I think including Bebe Liang, who’s in 2nd right now I think), most of whom I didn’t know. One though, Braden Overett…pretty much I’m a fan now lol. He did his free skate routine and the music was from “Pirates of the Caribbean”. Loved it . Then today we saw Kimmie Meissner again, Katy Taylor (currently 4th(?)), and some of the dance teams practicing. And yaaay! I had my digital camera! However, I quickly realized that taking pictures of these fast moving skaters when I’m only a couple feet higher than them and not knowing what they’re doing next poses a slight disadvantage to great pics. This one is Kimmie, great quality, I know (yay for nets to keep hockey pucks off the crowd). So that was pretty exciting this week. We got to see these incredibly talented skaters practice and go through their routines, and it wasn’t costing $98 (which is how much a ticket to the Ladies Final was *ouch*)! Plus we weren’t up in the grandstands or anything, it was just a neighborhood ice rink so we were down pretty close My only “regret” is that, darn it, I didn’t see Evan Lysacek lol.

Today was something of a blah day. It didn’t start off very well. First of all, I forgot to tell my sister to close the windows when I was leaving for work. So I stopped in the driveway and ran in to tell her. Unfortunately I forgot that in our car (possibly all…I have no idea), when you put the car in neutral (as it is a manual and has no “park” option), even if you have the parking brake on, the car still rolls. So 10 seconds later when I returned, the car was rolling down the driveway. Now, keep in mind that my driveway is a 50 foot long slope. Bad combination. So I yanked the passenger side door open, vaulted over the center, and managed to get a foot down on the brake. That was intense.

Then I get to work, and the girls who closed didn’t do a very good job…I messed up a cake order, frosted a cake horribly (and my boss just had to be there for that), had a lot of customers, and forgot my lunch (and couldn’t leave or sample since my boss was there most of the time). Plus, this is my last week of high school. I graduate on Saturday. I will be presenting my thesis on Thursday, and there are some other things due, including a Greek Final.

Answers seems to be just about the only thing I ever seek. Probably the only thing anyone ever seeks. I’ve been waiting for, and hoping for the arrival of, answers. I don’t think I’ll find the ones I’m looking for.

I want my story to be worth telling. So because this one would be worth telling, somehow that makes it more likely in my mind. I am too much of a girl. I would happily be less female-minded if that meant I didn’t rationalize so much. And if I didn’t read into everything.

Do you ever wonder why it is dreams never come to perfect fruition? Or do yours. Mine certainly don’t. So I’m left to one of two prayers…that either I will stop dreaming about the things I truly desire, or that my dreams will cease to exist only in my mind.