the world you love

Today was something of a blah day. It didn’t start off very well. First of all, I forgot to tell my sister to close the windows when I was leaving for work. So I stopped in the driveway and ran in to tell her. Unfortunately I forgot that in our car (possibly all…I have no idea), when you put the car in neutral (as it is a manual and has no “park” option), even if you have the parking brake on, the car still rolls. So 10 seconds later when I returned, the car was rolling down the driveway. Now, keep in mind that my driveway is a 50 foot long slope. Bad combination. So I yanked the passenger side door open, vaulted over the center, and managed to get a foot down on the brake. That was intense.

Then I get to work, and the girls who closed didn’t do a very good job…I messed up a cake order, frosted a cake horribly (and my boss just had to be there for that), had a lot of customers, and forgot my lunch (and couldn’t leave or sample since my boss was there most of the time). Plus, this is my last week of high school. I graduate on Saturday. I will be presenting my thesis on Thursday, and there are some other things due, including a Greek Final.

Answers seems to be just about the only thing I ever seek. Probably the only thing anyone ever seeks. I’ve been waiting for, and hoping for the arrival of, answers. I don’t think I’ll find the ones I’m looking for.

I want my story to be worth telling. So because this one would be worth telling, somehow that makes it more likely in my mind. I am too much of a girl. I would happily be less female-minded if that meant I didn’t rationalize so much. And if I didn’t read into everything.

Do you ever wonder why it is dreams never come to perfect fruition? Or do yours. Mine certainly don’t. So I’m left to one of two prayers…that either I will stop dreaming about the things I truly desire, or that my dreams will cease to exist only in my mind.


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