Today was my last day of work. No matter how ready I am to move on to the next segment of life, it always feels like such a milestone to walk through the doorway that separates the present from what was the future. It’s always more than just a doorway though. Even though I’ll be back to work at Christmas, this doorway means I’m embarking on my junior year of college. Now an upperclassman, I only have two years left. Halfway done. And as the sun begins to set and the shadows grow longer, I am faced with a visible reminder of the transiency of growing up. This room I have called mine for the last ten years, this acre I have called home for the last twenty years–they will slip away to that distant place of memories and childhood.
In some ways I welcome the rise of responsibility and adulthood. I’ve been home alone for the last two hours, and I leisurely made myself dinner and then took the time to enjoy it (even if it was pasta from a box). I welcome the ever-approaching opportunity to have a house that is my own, that I can decorate and flavor with my taste and personality. It’s just I find myself afraid that I will have to settle at first. That it won’t be home as this has been.