Although I have managed to come upon employment (thank you craigslist), I am still struggling with this overwhelming enigma of what to do with my life.
Various songs that come up in shuffle ask me this very question, prompt action, and bemoan directionlessness.
I am reminded of what teachers and others have oft reminded us: to whom much is given, much will be required. Well, I have been given much, this much I know. I want to do what is subsequently required of me (except I feel like it would be rather helpful to know what that is…).
The message this past Sunday touched on following God into the unknown. Life is an adventure; trust.
I’ll figure it out sometime, maybe. But I suppose in the meantime I need to decide to live and make something of this life I’ve been given.
Mary Oliver is admittedly not my favorite poet, but I do love this poem that Laurie shared at the English Senior Breakfast (and before in at least one of the classes I’ve taken from her). It is one that makes my heart shrink so that not enough blood circulates through my lungs or the walls of my throat.
The Summer Day – Mary Oliver
Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
subject: “BigCityDreams”, NeverShoutNever!