Tomorrow boasts a 6-6:30 wake up call to take the girls to school, but getting ahead of the blogging curve is a must as things worth writing about keep popping up! And as my attention span doesn’t seem to last beyond one topic, I can hardly squish them all into one.
In the interest of full-disclosure and keeping you all apprised of my whereabouts (those of you concerned about possible organ harvesting…I live in a very secure, gated community. Mosquitos, however, have attacked one of my legs and I am resisting the urge to itch because while malaria isn’t high on my list of concerns, I do know people who have gotten infected mosquito bites and that does not sound fun.)
Oops – that sentence got lost.
Here’s the point:
Turns out I won’t be in Panama for a year after all.
I am committed to a year at this job of being an au pair. The family, however, will be moving (back) to Washington DC sooner than originally anticipated.
It’s true; I did have an inkling the foreign part of this adventure wouldn’t last the full year, but I didn’t know how soon things would change.
Yesterday involved something of a paradigm shift for me.
Somewhere along the way, I (a little bit) forgot that this was a job I was entering into – not an adventure of my own design. The pill bringing me back to reality was a little hard to swallow. And, to be honest, pride weighed heavily in the picture – a la the discernable lumps of paint in a Van Gogh.
I have this issue/problem/tendency/fault where I want my life to be amazing and worth being jealous of.
Which is incredibly hard for me to admit.
But the truth of the matter is that I need to not be so focused on myself.
For me, it’s about following Christ and living life where I am to the best of my ability. (How perfect was the timing that today I read this article about trusting God?)
For the next (probably) two months, where I am is going to be Panama. (apart from 3 weeks in California & Tijuana)
Then until June 2011, it will be Washington DC.
I am disappointed that that people won’t be able to visit me here, and that I won’t get to cross off all the things I wanted to do and learn in Panama. But I’m going to squeeze in as many as I can while I am here.
And I’ll make a new list of things to do in DC.
For the hundredth time, I have epiphanized that I need to live where I am, not in some ethereal headspace, believing “this” will last forever.
Maybe it’s starting to sink in?
(In which case, bed. Tomorrow is going to come too soon!)