On flexibility

Tomorrow boasts a 6-6:30 wake up call to take the girls to school, but getting ahead of the blogging curve is a must as things worth writing about keep popping up! And as my attention span doesn’t seem to last beyond one topic, I can hardly squish them all into one.

In the interest of full-disclosure and keeping you all apprised of my whereabouts (those of you concerned about possible organ harvesting…I live in a very secure, gated community. Mosquitos, however, have attacked one of my legs and I am resisting the urge to itch because while malaria isn’t high on my list of concerns, I do know people who have gotten infected mosquito bites and that does not sound fun.)

Oops – that sentence got lost.

Here’s the point:

Turns out I won’t be in Panama for a year after all.
Confused?

I am committed to a year at this job of being an au pair. The family, however, will be moving (back) to Washington DC sooner than originally anticipated.
It’s true; I did have an inkling the foreign part of this adventure wouldn’t last the full year, but I didn’t know how soon things would change.

Yesterday involved something of a paradigm shift for me.
Somewhere along the way, I (a little bit) forgot that this was a job I was entering into – not an adventure of my own design. The pill bringing me back to reality was a little hard to swallow. And, to be honest, pride weighed heavily in the picture – a la the discernable lumps of paint in a Van Gogh.

I have this issue/problem/tendency/fault where I want my life to be amazing and worth being jealous of.
Which is incredibly hard for me to admit.

But the truth of the matter is that I need to not be so focused on myself.
For me, it’s about following Christ and living life where I am to the best of my ability. (How perfect was the timing that today I read this article about trusting God?)

For the next (probably) two months, where I am is going to be Panama. (apart from 3 weeks in California & Tijuana)
Then until June 2011, it will be Washington DC.

I am disappointed that that people won’t be able to visit me here, and that I won’t get to cross off all the things I wanted to do and learn in Panama. But I’m going to squeeze in as many as I can while I am here.
And I’ll make a new list of things to do in DC.

For the hundredth time, I have epiphanized that I need to live where I am, not in some ethereal headspace, believing “this” will last forever.
Maybe it’s starting to sink in?

(In which case, bed. Tomorrow is going to come too soon!)

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5 thoughts on “On flexibility

  1. I’m still disappointed you’re not getting the full year in Panama. However, as I said before, D.C. is a pretty great place in its own right, and you’ll have plenty of adventures there. 🙂

    I saw that article too! And the sermon was really good today. Good in a convicting sort of way.

  2. ‘I have this issue/problem/tendency/fault where I want my life to be amazing and worth being jealous of.’

    Isn’t it already? It doesn’t matter if you’re not in Panama for a year, thats not the important bit (to others, I mean). You’ve travelled to amazing places, snapped up every opportunity and been proactive about creating new ones. Your life is pretty enviable to me.

  3. Well, that is too bad that you won’t be staying as long as you had hoped in Panama. I guess that means you just have to take extra advantage of the weeks you have there. Plus, this means it’ll be easier for me to visit you in D.C.!

  4. Well Allison, I have been following you blog with interest and was sad to learn that you won’t have the “full” exerience in Panama that you’d planned for.
    However – very gratified to hear that you accept that God’s will for your life is not always your will. I do believe that He places us where, and with whom, we are meant to be at any given time.
    Enjoy every moment you have in Panama – you can always go back – life is not measured in one-way destinations.
    Love
    Kerry

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