the notebook doodles

Ever since I saw this post in August, I fell in love with the quote and wished I knew how to apply it to my life.

The thing is, visions of both the constructed present and imagined future elude me at the moment.

It’s true: I should grant that I have been back in the States and officially not-employed a grand total of 7 days. I was looking forward to this opportunity to be at home and contemplate my direction. Turns out I forgot (or underestimated, at least) the voracity of my impatience!

I’m not sure if my desire to have a capital-P Plan to follow is realistic and needed. Or if it’s just that – a desire akin to my desire to eat chocolate every day and never see any changes to my BMI. Regardless, some sort of goal is necessary.

At present I waffle (daily) between:

  1. moving back to Seattle and finding a studio or roommate situation. Pros: I like Seattle and my church there and have great friends there. Cons: higher cost of living
  2. finding a job in the hometown and living with the parents. Pros: reduced cost of living. Cons: less to do (which could contribute to saving more money or detract should I then make frequent road trips etc) and it’s harder to see the fewer friends who still live here.

Honestly, it comes down to money (and where/whether I can find a job). So I should find a goal beyond the immediate need for employment. Is it paying off my student loan? (Yes) Is it travel? (Yes – but where, when, and how much will it cost?) Is it starting to settle into a less transient life? (Sometimes yes)

This future that I am dreaming, it is multi-faceted, and I currently fail to see a path that will take me to both travel and stability. Not to say one isn’t there, but my perspective is rather limited at the moment.

Well, friends, this should be an interesting adventure ahead of us. Onwards and upwards!


3 thoughts on “Purpose

  1. I think feeling at home depends on having the right church… because your church is your spiritual family, so you should definitely count you church in your thoughts in…
    I’m excited for your experience and your new ways you’ll go!

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